Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Emotions way too many!!
I don't even know how to start this blog, but I know I need to get a few thing off my mind this morning. I have tried so many things to keep my mind busy since your murder. And for the most part it's working but days like today your all I can think about. All the question I have and will have I can't get out of my mind. I need answers and I am not getting them. My heart aches for just a voice of reasoning, but it seems like I never get it. The need of seeing JUSTICE for you is so over whelming. After talking to the A.D.A. I don't see that justice will ever be served.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Court, Big let down again Today
Went to court again today and yet again no trial. Just another reset now we are looking to October to even see if we will to go to trial. I don't understand what is taking so long to get this done every one knows what happen and who did this to you but looks like no one is ready to do any thing about it. It hurts to keep dragging this out for so long. I don't know how much more I can stand really now....... I need to see JUSTICE for you and I don't know if I can make it till I do see it.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Court Hearing Again (8-6-12)
My dearest Angel,
We have court again in the morning. (8-6-12) So far every time we have went it has been one reset after another. So many emotions feel me I can't get them out. I struggle with your death more and more every day. With trial still pending I wont ever get to know what happen to you that night and I think that's the hardest. Days seem to never end and with the sleepless nights, I never get you off my mind. I try to fill every waking moment with some thing to do, so I can keep my mind busy and not cry every second of every day. I wish that I could know what happen. I just want to know what they we're thinking, why would they kill you? What made them think your life was not important enough not to be able to live it? It's harder than most parents can deal with and I would not wish this on any parent. The heartache I deal with every day. The dread to see the sun again in the morning knowing your not waking up to see it with me. I will never get to see you grown and have a family of your own. Never see you marry, never get to see you become the mother you wanted to be. Your hope and dreams now all a waste. I have so many plans on projects to do in your honor, just don't know how to get them started. I started a support group for murdered children, but it's not going so well right now. But I will not give up, I will see it through till the end, for you.
Even now as I write this my eyes are filled with tears, it's the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. The loss of 2 of my 4 children. Your death is so much harder though, to be taken the way you was is not fair. I can't wrap my mind around the HOW? To be run down like a dog with no concern for life. A child does not deserve that. You should be here living your life like you wanted to do....... Love and miss you everyday.. Your Crazy Lady
We have court again in the morning. (8-6-12) So far every time we have went it has been one reset after another. So many emotions feel me I can't get them out. I struggle with your death more and more every day. With trial still pending I wont ever get to know what happen to you that night and I think that's the hardest. Days seem to never end and with the sleepless nights, I never get you off my mind. I try to fill every waking moment with some thing to do, so I can keep my mind busy and not cry every second of every day. I wish that I could know what happen. I just want to know what they we're thinking, why would they kill you? What made them think your life was not important enough not to be able to live it? It's harder than most parents can deal with and I would not wish this on any parent. The heartache I deal with every day. The dread to see the sun again in the morning knowing your not waking up to see it with me. I will never get to see you grown and have a family of your own. Never see you marry, never get to see you become the mother you wanted to be. Your hope and dreams now all a waste. I have so many plans on projects to do in your honor, just don't know how to get them started. I started a support group for murdered children, but it's not going so well right now. But I will not give up, I will see it through till the end, for you.
Even now as I write this my eyes are filled with tears, it's the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. The loss of 2 of my 4 children. Your death is so much harder though, to be taken the way you was is not fair. I can't wrap my mind around the HOW? To be run down like a dog with no concern for life. A child does not deserve that. You should be here living your life like you wanted to do....... Love and miss you everyday.. Your Crazy Lady
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