Oh my God, where did I go wrong in life. I have given my whole life to my kids, and now I am no wheres I just can't understand why I was giving this much pain in one life time. Losing two kids like I did while fighting for JUSTICE for my Charli, and making sure the county does their jobs. How much more can one person take..... It feels like my whole world has crashed down on me and I am trying to crawl my way to the top. While I climb more comes crashing down on me.. I can't breathe, can't move. I'm blinded by the dust and debris, WHY? I can't take it any more. I'm so freaking mad at my life but what can I do about it?  NOTHING I CAN DO NOTHING...... I must live in this hell, it has become my life. I struggle to simply to just breathe let alone live life..... I am just done with it all. I don't think I can stand any more... I'm sinking into a black hole and can't climb my way out of this.... My heart is ripped and torn into many shattered pieces, I am lost so lost........

My heart is gone.....

After three yrs now they are listening to me. Its a little late but maybe we can now have the proof that these people hurt you and killed you for now reason.....My world has been turned upside down, I feel like I have lost my mind and heart. Not knowing where to turn next, not understanding where to go from here. My life as I knew it is never going to be the same. I live life now with my heart shattered, no feeling at all. I HATE the new world I live in.........I will never understand how this happened to you......Its a world I never thought I would live in. A world no parent should go through.....

Justice looks like it will never be here for you...

As three years approach since your murder, still we hadn't seen one ounce of justice for you.
It seams like no one even cares if you get your justice, I can't understand how people don't care any more.
To me it's like some young adults get all the news media and you never, It hurts so bad. I long to hold you in my arms again and I never will. I'll never see your smile, your face light up, see your children, never get to see you married to the man of your dreams. All I ever wanted in life was to be the best mother to you and your siblings. I feel like I failed you some how. I didn't protect you enough, I didn't hold on tight enough to keep you safe from this horrible world. That was my only job as a mother and I failed so bad.
Where did I go wrong with you, why couldn't I do my job right? I have so my questions still, but don't know how to get them now.........
My love for you is still so strong, my heart is forever broken knowing that the justice I seek for you may never come. I sit and look at photos of you  as you grew and how beautiful you had become in such a short time. The warmest heart, biggest smile and THE MOST unbelievable blue eyes ever.You will forever be in my heart and on my thoughts......

                                                                       I LOVE YOU, YOUR CRAZY LADY