I have been so freaking lost with out you in the last three months. All I do is cry and think how bad I need you here. How much better our world could be with you here with us. I've some really STUPID thoughts these last three months, I know you wouldn't be proud of me for them. October has always been a hard month for me because that's when Kera died but some how you always got me through that month from how excited you would get about Halloween. Then November would get here and I loved how you made us all have such a wonderful Thanksgiving. How loving and giving you were. How your smile would light up the whole world for me......Then Black Friday would be there and how excited you got to start decorating for Christmas. To see you so happy and laughing while putting up all the decorations and wallpapering the whole living room with Christmas paper. How do you get in the Holiday spirit when you were the only one that made it wonderful????????
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